With similar clockwork timing, pain and misery as a woman's menstrual cycle, Board Meeting Day is nearly upon us at my work place.

I don't know how many of you are blessed enough to work in a place that has a Board of Directors. As I work at a Non-Profit that is trying to profit in the Arts and Programming World, I do. What it means is that a group of people with more money than I shall ever see in this lifetime descend en masse upon my workplace and my coworkers, and try to make sure we aren't fucking up and losing money like some 19th century railroad barons smoking cigars made of $100 bills.

I am naturally being facetious. Board of Directors are actually wonderful things to have, which is why they are depicted so highly in such movies as Iron Man, Batman Begins and—

Ok. NOW I'm just being sarcastic.

But they ARE necessary, and they need to be kept in the Know. This is very important to being a proper Board Member and is achieved through Board Meetings. And so, we--the lowly plebeians of my work place--must prepare for their arrival. The conference room must be set. The projector must be working. The water cups must be the proper 10oz hard plastic tumblers from the store down the street. And the board books explaining what will be discussed must be prepared.

Various coworkers of mine have been doing just that this week—composing, printing, binding and mailing these Tomes of Knowledge to the various Members of the Board. There are only 40 books, and yet the undertaking to construct them is…Intense.

I watch my coworkers struggle to get them approved, the pain and misery etched on their faces. I see them standing at the printer, the hole puncher, the comb binder, the life draining from their limbs. They print them, and reprint them, and print them some more, until the very planet cries out in impotent rage against the shameless waste of paper and toner.

And then I sit at my desk and thank every last Supreme and Demi-Supreme Being that might be found in our Infinite Universe that it's Them, and not Me.

It was June the 14th in the Year of Our Lord 2011... )
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