Gather around, my lovelies. It's TMI-time.

On formspring I'm mostly asked questions that are silly affairs that pass the time.

Sometimes, however, I get asked...QUESTIONS.

I am 17 and recently found out my birth mom lives in California while I live in Georgia. I was upset when I found out my mom moved that far when I was 12. I have never talked to her and I wonder if I should. Any advice? Do you know your birth parents?

Oh...BOY. Kinda loaded. Where to begin? Or, more importantly, where to END?

This was my response. I hope I did it justice, for really it is the painfully short of a 26-Year Long:

"That is a very difficult question, and one I've never had to face myself. I've never met my own biological "parents", and only know my birth mother's name--I doubt I will ever know more than that. I also don't know what your circumstances are--I was born and handed over to my parents as an infant, and I was raised knowing I was adopted and cherished BECAUSE "when God closes the door, He opens the back window" (as my parents would say, as they couldn't have children of their own). They are the only "parents" in my life. Sure I was BORN of a Jones (AND YES when I went into archaeology you bet your ass I milked that joke for all it was worth), but I am an INSERRA.

Even if my ever met my birth "mother" she would not be MY MOTHER, but my...sire, I suppose. I have nothing but curiosity towards her, especially as I've been told I was her second child and that she was very young when I was born and out there somewhere I have an older half-brother who was adopted as well. Supposedly she was smart and had brown hair and blue eyes and was on the plump side. YES I want to know what she looks like, want to know if we have anything in common.

I mean, Good God--what if she's a GEEK???

But there is no ANGER, no RESENTMENT. I am uncomfortable with assigning what she might have been thinking or feeling 26 years ago, but I would like to believe that she wanted what was best for me BECAUSE she gave me away; and if that was her intention or hope, she succeeded. Oh, sure, I like to joke about where I've been messed up and what my "issues" are but you know what? I am so damn lucky to have ended up with the family I did and where I am that sometimes I can't even breathe at the thought.

But like I said, I don't know your own personal circumstances. Who raised you? Grandparents? Family? A family of nurturing and not of blood? Did she raise you but then give you up? Do you remember that?

There are many websites out there by and for adoptees that explore these feelings and questions, and I strongly recommend you google them and explore them before you act. But in the end it is a matter of what your heart wants. I think, if given the opportunity, I WOULD want to meet Laura Jean Jones. I am a curious bastard and that hasn't killed me yet. As a child I imagine myself become the matriarch of a NEW line of Inserras that would generate from ME and only ME, thumbing my nose to all those who could trace their families so far back!--

But now, I would like to know whom I came from.

I don't fantasize that it'll be peaches and rainbows, but it doesn't change who I AM. I think it WOULD add to me though, another layer to the person I've become.

All I can say is wait until the resentment and anger has past. Your birth parent had her own story. And you have yours, that is ALL yours. Revel in that.

I know I do. :) "
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